


Ruin

by waywardimpalawriter



Series: Ruin [1]
Category: Bucky Barnes - Fandom, Bucky x reader - Fandom, Captain America (Movies), James Buchanan Barnes - Fandom, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), bucky barnes x reader - Fandom
Genre: Angst Smut, F/M, NSFW, PWP, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-03
Updated: 2016-11-03
Packaged: 2018-08-28 18:24:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8457097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waywardimpalawriter/pseuds/waywardimpalawriter
Summary: Summary: No other man will ever come close to him.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Setting: After Civil War
> 
> Warnings: NSFW (smut all the way, wrap it if ya gonna tap people be safe.) Not what might think either, you might want to have tissues handily as well. 
> 
> Pairing: Bucky x Reader
> 
> Notes: written for my 400 follower celebration challenge. Requested by @angryschnauzer the song Ruin me by: The Veronicas.

Crystal, warm, and wet, the lone tear which slips from your eyes, to slide down cool cheeks and drip to the floor. Eyes trained on the bed, two bodies in the throes of passion, coming to completions. Weeks he’d played you, telling you everything’s fine when in actuality they weren’t. You could see that much with your own eyes, hear the grunts and moans, each a dagger to your heart. Each taking another piece of you.

 

It’d been the little things, brush offs, staying longer at the clubs he normally wouldn’t go to, till lately. Wanting to talk and getting nothing but silence and the sex, cause right now that must’ve been all that’d been between you, is none existence. The I Loves yous few and far between. How could you have missed the signs? Missed that what your heart told you is love is meaningless. Maybe you could talk to him, ask him. Shaking your head, knowing it’s useless he’d never listen and you didn’t care, not now, not after this. He may have ruined you, but you’re gonna take him down with you.

 

Harshly wiping at the salty, bitter tears, you pivot on bare feet making for the door, snatching up your heels on the way out. Plan in your head as your heart starts to freeze.

 

Bucky stood looking out over the city lights of New York, upper body bare, arms crossed, waiting for you to come home. It’s unusual that you’re this late coming home from work. Which makes him tense and worried. So many people want him dead or worse alone. That it sets his teeth on edge. He couldn’t lose you, the only good, real thing in his life, not to death anyway.

 

Head snapped to the side when he hears the front door open then close. Feet bare as he pads towards the living room, watching you slip from your suit jacket, tossing it over a bar stool, shoes toed off next, feet digging into the carpet. Relief showing on your features, though there’s something else, something more that he’s picked up on. Years of reading people, Bucky knows somethings different but brushes it aside stepping into the living room and letting his presences be known.

 

“You’re late Y/N,” voice laced with worry as he takes the steps till he’s standing in front of you. There’s no going back now the choices have been made and soon will have to be lived with.

 

Shrugging, trying to play off that you’d been home earlier and left again, sickened at the sight which met your eyes when you first arrived. Eyes turned down, trying not to show how much he affects you. Has ever since that first meeting not long after being declared criminals all because you sided with Steve on the Sokovian Accords and believed Bucky to be innocent. How could you not after he saved your life from a German police office aiming to take you out. You hadn’t known then that he’d play such a big role in your life once leaving cryo for the last time. Tigger words being taken from his mind for good but not the self-doubt, the nightmares or the guilt for everything he’d done.

 

You’d seen him through those times back in Wakanda. Falling for him with each passing day, trying to stay away and in the end it didn’t work. You’d foolishly falling in love with James Barnes and now you faced the hardest choice in your life.

 

“Doll?” it’s barely there, but Bucky caught the flinch, making him swallow.

 

“Late night is all Bucky,” standing on your toes to place a soft kiss to his cheek.

 

Walking away, starting to pull at each button on your blouse needing a hot shower. Your eyes fall to the fleshly made bed. Knowing the sheets are different as the purple had been on before you left for work this morning and now blue adorned the bed you shared with Bucky. Tears threaten to spill from your eyes, but you push them back, raising your head, continuing to the bathroom.

 

Once inside, you lean back against the door gathering yourself while stripping all your clothes off. You turned, facing the mirror, “Why?” voice barely a whisper as you stare at the eyes looking back at you. “How could it happen?”

 

Not giving into to the impulse too toss something at your reflection, moving towards the shower stripping every last bit of clothing off your body. Flicking on the hot water getting the temperature just right before stepping in and letting the warmth envelope your body. Right out of the blue it hits you like a mac truck almost making your knees buckle from under you. He doesn’t love you, never had because if he did, he wouldn’t have done this.

 

“Y/N,” deep voice echoed around the nearly silent room, except for the shower running. You’re back straightens, face in the falling water to cover any tears that’d slipped out, trying with everything in you to remain strong.

 

Gathering your voice, “Yes James,” you could do this, one last time.

 

“Need me to wash your back?” handsome face, slight smirk gracing those kissable lips appeared around the shower door.

 

Giving him your best smile, “Always baby,” watching as he enters the large stall loaming over you. Hard body glistening in the low light, muscles rolling with each step he took towards you caging you in under the water spray of the shower head.

 

Rough callused hand reaches out to cup the side of your face, tracing your bottom lip with the pad of his thumb, “You’re so beautiful,” he whispers using his free hand to snake around your waist and pull you to him effectively pushing your back against the cold stone shower wall.  

 

He meant it, with everything in him, Bucky meant each word, look, touch he gave you. You’d been a life line, something good in this world when he’d done so much bad. He can’t help but think right then that what he’s doing is wrong. Bucky’s always thought his touch tainted you, making it so that no man would want to touch you and part of him relished the very through. Yet, it’s that other half, the one that wants to see you safe and protected, which guides his thoughts and actions. Even now when his mind is clouded with passion and desire for the one woman who makes him whole, he’s thinking of your protection.

 

It’s on the tip of your tongue to ask if he means it, all of which flies out the window when his lips meet yours. Soft, tentative a melding of two mouths over each other. Yet, it’s not enough, you needed more, something you craved right now, as your fingers danced up his chest only to score back down with your nails. Hearing the slight hiss against your mouth, as your tongue took control, dipping into his mouth and over running his. Hands landing on his shoulders, gripping tighter as you kiss him hard pouring everything you’ve been feeling, trying to make him understand without saying.

 

Aggression fuels your veins, as you pull away nipping at his bottom lip drawing it into the warm cavern of your mouth, sucking lightly while one hand drops to grip his hard cock, giving him a few hard strokes. Hearing another groan leaving his lips, hips bucking into your hand as you return to nibbling his mouth, moving to his jaw line, and down his long, strong neck. You’d always buried you face in the crook when things became too much, when you needed comfort, or just to breath him in. and right now you just need him to fuck you till you can’t walk, till you forget what you saw.

 

He’s shocked at first, you’ve never been this forward before, not that he’d complain. To him, you’re desperate, wanton and sexy. Making it so that Bucky grips your waist lifting till your legs wrap around his lean waist, hand helping to guide him into your welcoming heat.

 

Hissing, “James please,” head tossed back, abandoning his neck in favor of a long moan, slick walls gripping his cock tight.

 

“What doll? What do you want?”

 

“Fuck me James,” you breathe out, eyes connecting with his, heat and want searing into his soul.

 

 

 

 

 

__Job well done  
Standing ovation  
Yeah you got what you wanted  
I guess you won  
And I don’t want to hear, they don’t know you like I do  
Even I could’ve told you  
But now we’re done

 

 

 

 

Reconnecting your lips, Bucky pulls almost all the way out before slamming back in hips smacking into yours, back pressed against the tiled wall so hard you know there’s gonna be impressions tomorrow. But for right now you don’t care. His mouth attacks yours with a fever, tasting, memorizing each crevice, cataloging each moan and gasp. Your nails digging into shoulders leaving crescent shaped marks, as you pull away gasping for breath, needy moans leaving your lips as his mouth descends to your neck, sucking marks into the soft skin.

 

It’d been so long since the last time you’d been together that it’s not taking you long to reach your peak. Feeling those tingles stir in your belly, spreading out in waves, filling every part till they take over. Eyes screw shut as you hold on, Bucky’s body slamming into your harder. His grunts, the soft hissing of yes and fuck in-between the dripping of warm water down both your bodies. His face burying its self into your neck teeth latching onto that one spot that never fails to drive you crazy, sucking till a bruise forms. Human hand slipping between your bodies to toy with your clit, drawing harsh tight circles feeling your walls grip him that much tighter.

 

“Harder, I’m…” you barely get the words out as your world starts to spin. Request granted, hips pull back till just the head of his cock is at your entrance, fingers have stopped as well making you look up at Bucky.

 

Panting you go to speak again, to demand he take you, nothing comes out as he slams back home pelvic bone hitting your clit just right, cock head brushing against that spot deep inside your core spending you spiraling out of control. Stars dance across your closed lids, wait when’d that happen? You can feel Bucky’s hips falter, his own pleasure and completion following yours. Your name falling from those now swollen ruby lips that you can’t help but recapture in another bruising kiss. Tasting, what you now come to realize as coffee, upon those divine lips.

 

Pulling back to rest your foreheads together, “Damn doll where’d that come from?”

 

Biting your inner cheek, “I’ve missed you James,” truthful as you cup the side of his face, watching as his eyes close relishing in the feel of your hand. “The waters getting cold.”

 

Opening those cobalt orbs to stare at you for a moment, breathe becoming an issue and not because of the activity you both participated it. But because of the wounded look you’re giving him. Breaking his heart, Bucky almost tells you everything but decided against it. Instead flicking the water off, keeping your body wrapped around his while exiting the shower. Putting you down on the counter top to grab two towels. One to wrap around his hips, slung low. The other he using to gently dry you off. Marveling at the soft texture of your skin, the slight imperfections you think are flaws but he sees as beauty.

 

Pausing at the birth mark on your inner left thigh to place his lips in a sucking kiss, hearing you intake a deep breath, he looks up from his position kneeing on the floor. “Stealing your breath am I?” a cheeky smile lightens his normally stoic features. A smile he always reserved just for you.

 

Cupping his chin, “You always do,” swallowing the lump in your throat. Trying to keep from spilling everything, watching as Bucky finishes drying you off then picks you up, cradling your body against his chest. You snuggle into his arms, wrapping both of your around his neck, face planted right in the sweet spot you loved, lips ghosting over dewy skin, leaving a trail of kisses.

 

Now wasn’t the time for soft, his body demanding to have you again, as his erection has sprung back to life nudging your side while he carries you to bed. Placing you in the middle, to staring down at you spread out looking up at him with a mixture of regret, curiosity and love. The last one ripping at his heart, so much so that Bucky rips the towel from his own body tossing it somewhere behind him, then crawling over the cool sheets till he reaches you.

 

Hovering over, bodies just brushing against each other, “I’m sorry Y/N,” voice hoarse, emotion filled.

 

 

 

 

 

__‘Cause you play me like a symphony  
Play me till your fingers bleed  
I’m your greatest masterpiece  
You ruin me  
Later when the curtains drawn  
And no one’s there for you back home  
Don’t cry to me you played me wrong  
You ruin me

 

 

 

 

He doesn’t let you ask questions, just capturing your delicate mouth with his, devouring your whimpers as his hands tease and fondle your breasts pinching the harden nipples to points. While his tongue dipped into your mouth on a gasp of pleasured pain. Tasting once more the drug he’s losing, the sweetness with which you’ve kept him addicted to for so long. Pulling away to nibble a path from your delectable lips, to jaw, down the line of your neck, leaving biting kisses now to land at your collarbone.

 

Hands keeping your breasts occupied, making your wither under him, cupping each globe, weighting and squeezing just hard enough to make your back arch. Bring his thigh between your parted tights rubbing against your soaked pussy, feeling you tense then moan at having even that little bit of friction between your legs. The wiry hairs of his thigh tickling you, never knowing how something so simple could turn you on so much, especially when he adds just the right amount of pressure and moves that thick, hard muscular limp back and forth. Your own hips starting to life with each pass felling another orgasm start to build as his lips come down on one harden peak sucking harshly, before biting down and lapping to sooth the ache.

 

By this time your pants, withering against despite for his body, “Please James.”

 

Your breathless pleas rock into him, making his already hard body tighten like a bow string. He wants to make this good, to last yet seeing you, feeling each soft supple part has him damned to seven kinds of hell and he can’t wait. Sliding between your thighs, a groan of displeasure leaving your lips to be replaced by a deep throat moan and sigh as his mouth comes down on your pussy, sucking and biting. Tongue searching for the little pearl, flicking against it rapidly while he slips two fingers of his bionic hand deep inside you. Arching your back, hands fisting the sheets, little whimpers leaving your parted, panting lips. Knowing it’s not gonna be long, his mouth to talented to not drive you right over the edge.

 

One hand going to his soft, still wet chin length chestnut hair, tugging his face closer to your core, rocking your hips against his face harshly. Demanding the pleasure he’ll freely give you. The combination of cool digits slipping between your clutching walls, mouth sucking hard on your clit, it’s too much and you fall over the edge screaming Bucky’s name for all to hear.

 

Licking you through your orgasm, watching the rapid rise and fall of your chest, how tightly your eyes are closed, body still shuttering around him. Sad smile gracing his lips as he licks them clean, starting to move up your body like a tiger on the prowl and you’re his prey.

 

Though the tables are turned, eyes snap open and you grab him with the strength you have left from such an intense orgasm crashing your mouths together, tasting yourself still on his lips as you wrap your legs around his waist, he rests on his elbows hovering over you.

 

 

 

 

 

__I know you thought  
That I wouldn’t notice  
You were acting so strange  
I’m no that dumb  
And in the end I hope she was worth it  
I don’t care if you loved me, you make me numb  

 

 

 

 

Fingers brushing your wet hair aside, eyes locked on one another. In your mind your telling him both to say it and not to. So unsure what you’d do if he does. Trying to stay detached and not fall into the same patterns again, to cut those ties, but how? When you’ve loved this man for so long and soon it’ll be over.

 

Gathering your strength, arms and legs wrapped around Bucky, you flip the two of your over till he’s lying under you a shocked look in those beautiful eyes. Arms holding you up, legs on either side of his waist, you balance on one arm while the other snakes down between you gripping his harden cock, stroking a few times, hearing him hiss.

 

A squeeze, “Feels good?”

 

“Better inside you darlin, wrapped around me like a silk vice, making me lose control with how you take me,” deeper in cadence his voice much like his eyes are dark and stormy they stay locks on yours. “Ruin me doll,” he breaths shaking in restrained passion. Wanting to grip you tight and fuck you into the mattress, but knowing he needed to let you take over.

 

Deep guttural and long the moan which slips from his lips as you position your dripping pussy over his cock, dropping down to just having the cockhead inside before pulling back up. His words having the desired effect, making you drop down over him, balls resting against your ass that rests on his thighs. Staying still, letting your slick walls grip him tight, you rock back and forward just letting the friction of his pelvic bone brush against your clit.

 

Hands spray over his chest, you raise and fall slowly at first finding the right rhythm till your bouncing over his cock hard and fast. Leaning down till your chest to chest rubbing against him as he grips your hips helping you slide along his cock faster. Eyes still locked, biting your bottom lip as you watch the varying array of emotions flash in those beautiful orbs of cobalt. He wraps his arms around you, planting his feet into the bed taking over the thrusting for both of you. Hearing you pant and whimper, he’s lost in the beauty that your eyes hold. In the sounds you make from the pleasure he’s giving you.

 

He’s desperate to close his eyes, but he can’t not yet, not now. He wants to watch you, watch as you fall apart in his arms another gasp leaving your lips as he hits that one spot inside you that never fails to make you shatter. Fluttering of your walls around his cock has a gut leaving his lips, hands sliding down to grip your ass holding you against him as he takes and gives you pleasure. The dam breaking when he feels your soft small hand slip between the two of your and finger your clit, his name coming out in another scream, breathe ghosting over his neck and shoulders.

 

It doesn’t take long for him to follow, your own name a soft utterance from his swollen lips. His eyes close this time, capture your lips with his in a gentle kiss, emotions pouring as he feels your arms wrap around him. It’s on the tip of his tongue to say it, to divulge everything but he doesn’t. Instead Bucky lets you slide off him to his right side, wrapping you up in his arms, breathing in the scent of sex and soap and you forever burned into his mind.

 

 

 

 

 

__'Cause you play me like a symphony  
Play me till your fingers bleed  
I’m your greatest masterpiece  
You ruin me  
Play me when the card’s drawn  
And no one’s there for you back home  
Don’t cry to me you played me wrong  
You ruin me

 

 

 

 

Searching hand coming up empty, Bucky bolts up right eyes falling to your side of the bed, cold. Crisp white paper in your place.

 

 

 

 

 

_ James _

 

_             I can’t it’s too hard to stick around. I don’t know if you still love me, or if it was just a onetime thing. For that matter did you ever truly loved me or was I just there to warm your bed? Did you care or was it fake? Either way I can’t James it hurts so much to even write this, to say goodbye when we promised we’d never. You’ve ruined me for other men, but I doubt you can say the same of me. I’ll always love you that will never change. Take care of yourself my love. _

 

_                                                                        Yours Y/N _

 

He wanted to ball the paper up, to curse and scream to break something, but in the end all he does is go to the window sheet wrapped around his hips, looking out over the New York sky line. A single tear slipping from his eyes.

 

 

 

 

 

__ We’re that song you wouldn’t sing  
Just a broken melody  
You’re killing me 

 

__You play me like a symphony  
Play me till your fingers bleed  
I’m your greatest masterpiece  
You ruin me  
And later when the curtains drawn  
And no one’s there for you back home  
Don’t cry to me you played me wrong  
You ruin me

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_ Hours earlier after you’d left the first time _

 

_             Hand resting on the cool glass, the woman he’d brought up here getting dressed. Even though they weren’t totally naked, Bucky still felt filthy, tainted with her on him. In that moment James Barnes hated himself more than any time in his life. _

 

_             “If it wasn’t for the sex, cause baby I would’ve been good at it, why did you put this little show on?” she asked coming to stand just off to his left. _

 

_             Hand raking though his hair, frustration, anger, biggest of all regret and sadness warring inside his mind. “Because I love her too much, I need to protect her and this is the only way. I kill everything I love and don’t want to see her dead.” _


End file.
